Selecting, buying, and giving gifts to people we care about is one of the most important aspects of many holiday celebrations. But here’s the open secret of this holiday season: For many of us, trying to find the “perfect” gift is an exercise in frustration and uncertainty.
This time of year comes with oodles of pressure to get our shopping done in time for all manner of holiday gatherings. At its worst, we can unintentionally get caught up in a kind of competitive gift-giving, hell-bent on outdoing or out-spending everyone else (#festive?!). On the other hand, we may decide to opt out entirely in the name of anti-consumerism—and forgo the potential delight of these gifting rituals our ancestors dreamed up and passed down.
So how do we find a balance? How can we truly relish this season of generosity? Here are three gift-giving tips, based on mindful qualities that help reduce stress and add to the joy.
3 Gift-Giving Tips for a More Mindful Holiday Season
1. Enhance Empathy: When it comes to figuring out what to buy for that hard-to-buy-for person—we all know one!—an empathic approach may help. According to Greater Good Magazine editor and writer Jill Suttie, parts of our brain have evolved “to enable emotional connection with others and the motivation to care,” and we can cultivate empathy through tiny, intentional shifts in daily life.
These days, the word empathy is often associated with feeling others’ pain or difficult emotions like our own. Yet in its broader, evolutionary form, empathy helps us understand different perspectives—to take a little walk in someone else’s shoes. This not only leads us toward other helpful qualities such as loving-kindness, it also gives us a break from our more self-focused motivations (“I don’t want to be the only one showing up to the party without gifts!” or “I’m worried someone will think badly of me if I give the wrong thing”).
2. Offer Appreciation: Consciously thinking about the reasons you appreciate someone is another great way to shift into a more relaxed, flexible mindset around gift-giving. What’s one quality, talent, or goal this person possesses that you admire about them: Their sense of humor? Their love of learning? The ways they support their community? Their courageous attempts to veganize French cuisine? Again, this makes the process less about you and more about your relationship to the recipient.
A mindful approach to gifting places less emphasis on the price tag or the “wow” factor and instead draws on a sense of connection and thoughtfulness.
A mindful approach to gifting also places less emphasis on the price tag or the “wow” factor and instead draws on a sense of connection and thoughtfulness. As Mike Rucker writes, “A gift tends to be more beneficial when it is in true alignment with the recipient’s identity and values.” We don’t have to empty the bank account in order to show someone that they’re important to us.
3. Nurture Self-Compassion: Anyone who has ever wandered the mall (or scrolled through online stores) for hours on end knows that overthinking is the enemy of a happy holiday. Mental habits like second-guessing, demanding perfection, or thinking up worst-case scenarios can take us from overthinking to full-blown anxiety. Choosing to be kind to ourselves can take the edge off some of that tension and overthinking.
“Mindfulness can become an ally, fostering a compassionate relationship with our thoughts and allowing mental clarity,” writes Ashley Fletcher. If you tend to overthink your gift-shopping (or anything else), take a deep breath, acknowledge that things are tough right now, and perhaps offer yourself some grace, the same way you’d support a stressed-out friend.
However you relate to traditions of gift-giving, this season is a fruitful time to shift our habits. Cultivating a spirit of self-compassion along with empathy and appreciation for others makes it easier for us to truly savor the most meaningful gifts: connection, laughter, and gratitude.
We hope you’ve enjoyed these mindful gift-giving tips. For even more inspiration, explore our 2024 Holiday Gift Guide—where mindfulness meets heartfelt gifting.
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