Dear We Are Teachers,
I just finished my first year of teaching and am so ready for summer. At least I thought I was. I feel like I’m still so wound up from the stress of this year that I can’t relax! What are some things I can do to help me unwind and/or recharge?
—Seeking Summer Peace
Dear S.S.P.,
Congratulations on finishing your first year! That’s a significant accomplishment.
I totally understand what you mean. My first piece of advice is to give yourself a little grace. It often takes me at least a few days, if not weeks, to settle myself after a school year. Your body and brain need time to adjust from being “on,” and it takes time to adapt to the new pace.
Assuming you don’t have any plans, I like to make the first few days as mellow as possible. The first summer I didn’t work, I took a week to ask myself each day: What do I really want to do? Eat brunch? Do some yoga? Read a new book? Sit quietly in a park? Meet a friend? Not having obligations is an immense privilege (I especially feel that way now as a parent!), so take advantage of it! Don’t be afraid to make the space to be restful in the ways that feel best for you.
After that, it might be good to reflect on what kind of relaxation feels good for you. Some people really need to disconnect over the summer. If that’s you, you can plan a vacation, staycation, or weekend trip. You could also spend time with friends or family you don’t usually get to see. Shifting out of your usual routine—even something like a new workout class—is a great way to come back rejuvenated. If you do want to work, consider taking a job that has nothing to do with education. One summer, I worked the front desk of a yoga studio in exchange for free classes, and I loved it.
Some people genuinely enjoy developing their craft over the summer so they can come back prepared. If that’s your speed, you can read a book to advance your craft or look for professional development to attend (including online courses) that prepare you for next year. You can also take classes that aren’t directly tied to teaching but can help strengthen your work as an educator. For example, I often encourage teacher candidates to take acting or improv classes to work on physical presence and on-the-spot critical thinking skills. These classes help strengthen your overall work as a teacher and can also be really enjoyable!
Finally, you could try to think back to who you were before you were a teacher. There’s no “going back” (not that you’d want to!), but are there any parts of yourself you might have lost or put to the side? Maybe a hobby you loved or a pastime you’ve missed? If so, this might be an ideal time to find that part of yourself again.
In the future, you could plan something fun for the summer ahead of time. There are some great funded (or even paid!) professional development opportunities. Take advantage of one of the perks of being a teacher by using the summer to travel and grow your career in important ways.
I hope you have a fantastic and rejuvenating summer. You deserve it!
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m a new, introverted teacher struggling to build relationships with colleagues. Everyone else seems to connect so easily—they chat before meetings, make plans for school events, and always know what to say. I say hi and join in on work talk, but I never know how to move beyond that. I’d really love to feel more connected. Do you have any tips for a quiet teacher trying to find their place?
—Quiet but Wanting Connection
Dear Q.B.W.C.,
Thanks for this sincere and thoughtful question. As someone who sometimes tends more toward “introversion,” I understand how you feel
That said, it’s essential to check our understanding of introverts and extroverts. Most people are actually both! I bring this up to remind us that if we label ourselves too quickly, we can perpetuate ideas about our capabilities that don’t allow us to grow.
I wonder if you might actually be a bit more shy, at least in this situation. That’s also understandable, since you’re new to this community. Remember, the connection you’re seeing among these other colleagues took time to build. I really like the concept of “tiny conversations” that lead to bigger ones. The smaller moments of connection you’re having aren’t unimportant. They’re hopefully building a foundation for bigger ones.
Once you’ve entered a conversation, I always think it’s important to ask questions and try to remember things about others. If someone mentions they spent the weekend running a race, ask how long they’ve been running. Ask them what kind of dog they have or where they had lunch. While these questions might seem silly, they might help you find some more connections with others to follow up on (“Oh! I love Australian shepherds!”). They also show that you’re interested and help encourage more conversation.
You can also just be bold and ask for a connection. If you want to build relationships with folks, you have to show you also want relationships. If folks are carpooling to an event, ask if you can join or help drive. If they’re mentioning a meeting, say you want to learn more. Sometimes we think people don’t want to talk to us, but it’s actually that they think we don’t want conversation since we’re not investing in it.
Another option is to look for any other shy, quiet, people around the edges of large gatherings. I’ve done this before, gone up to them, and gently said, “I never know what to do at these things either. I’m Christina. How are you?” Just making that first leap has helped me meet other people who are feeling similarly awkward and allowed us to bond over that.
I hope you find your people soon! Good luck, and I believe in you!
Dear We Are Teachers,
I just got back from vacation and opened my email for the first time since the end of the school year. A parent had emailed me the day after my last teacher workday, concerned about her child’s grade—and now I have several follow-up emails pressuring me to respond. The student didn’t turn in several assignments, and I feel like I’m being pushed to deal with it during my summer break. Do I need to respond to the parent?
—Off the Clock
Dear O.T.C.,
What a conundrum! I have actually had this same situation a few times in my career. You are not alone.
Personally, I wouldn’t respond to the email. If it was after grades were submitted and the school year was over, anything you would do would need to go to admin anyway. If the parent feels that strongly about it, they can email your administrator. I have also often found that families have an initial freak-out about grades, but after some time, they cool down and sometimes learn some previously unshared facts (like the amount of missing work there was) that shift their perspective.
Now, if you really want to respond (or if you feel like your school’s culture demands a response, which I understand), be concise and clear. Thank them for their interest, send a PDF of the student’s grades, note the missing work, and end the email with, “Have a wonderful summer break.”
If your administration does follow up, I would do something similar (though without the summer sign-off). Clearly and concisely share why the student received the grade they did. If you had followed up with the student asking for work before the end of the year or had reminders in your syllabus or other messages, include those as well. Basically, you want to show the administrators that you provided opportunities for the student to succeed during the year, but their response was a matter of too little too late.
Ultimately, I hope you take space and enjoy your summer break! While it’s very difficult, disconnecting is key, for teachers, students, and families. Good luck, and I believe in you!
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m due at the end of June (in about two weeks!) with my first child, around the time school lets out. HR explained to me months ago that I could opt to take my maternity leave at the beginning of the fall semester, which would give me the whole summer off plus my maternity leave, so a total of about five months—awesome! This week, my principal came by my room asking me to consider taking off the rest of this year instead of doing my maternity leave in the fall. She said the worst time to miss is the first few months of school. Is she right? Should I reconsider?
—Taking Time for Baby
