Believe me, you won’t want to miss those perks! As it was under the Trump administration, institutional leaders who sign up will get priority access to White House events and discussions with officials. We’ll also throw in “Keeping It Cozy with AOC” fleeces for your leadership team and a personal invite to my monthly “alphabet soup” lunch with the NEA, AFT, AAUP, ACLU, and AG Mamdani. And you might want to announce that all federal student debt is forgiven for your current and former students, as President Ocasio-Cortez is preparing an executive order that will forgive all loans for anyone who attends or has attended an EZPassTM institution.
“This is too good to be true!” you must be gasping. Well, straighten your tams and hold onto your tassels, there’s still more. The dozen campus leaders who most effusively demonstrate their enthusiasm for President AOC’s agenda will be invited to a special “Celebrating Higher Ed’s All-Stars” dinner with the president and her top donors (think Trump crypto dinner—but BETTER!). The first twenty research institutions to roll out a climate plan approved by my office will get access to a special day-long “working session” with the research impresarios at the Department of the Interior, Department of Energy, and the National Science Foundation. Signatories will also be invited to be part of our “National Civic Engagement” strategy, featuring White House confabs with Bluesky influencers and a chance at special competitive grants for mission-aligned voter registration and mobilization.
I want to be very clear: This is nothing more than your friendly Department of Education extending an open hand. No one should think I’m trying to “make an offer you can’t refuse,” because that’s just wrong. But see, you got a nice little university there, and it would be a shame if something happened to it. Indeed, as my predecessor, former Secretary Linda McMahon, put it to college presidents four years ago, “Institutions of higher education are free to develop models and values other than those below, if the institution elects to forego federal benefits.”
In AOC’s America, this is what democracy looks like. Now, it’s time to get with the program.
Warmly,
Rachel Maddow
U.S. Secretary of Education
