What’s at the root of self-doubt? Anu Gupta weighs in on the role of bias in our lack of self-trust.
Q. I often feel overwhelmed by self-doubt. How can I learn to trust myself more?
A. When we persistently doubt ourselves, we are most likely carrying around some form of internalized bias. I define internalized bias as a form of conscious and unconscious bias or learned habits where harmful mental formations influence our thoughts, words, and actions toward ourselves. Examples of the mental formations related to self-doubt might be the habit of calling oneself “stupid,” or the emotion of feeling unworthy or inferior in relation to another human.
At an absolute level, regardless of whether we are rich, poor, thin, fat, male, female, or something else, we are, we exist, we are neither better- nor worse-than. However, by believing false stories and stereotypes about ourselves, our minds place a judgment on who we are, which becomes our self-concept and identity. Acknowledging, feeling, and healing this pain is our work of breaking bias and regaining trust in ourselves. The following practice can help.
- Take three full breaths. Bring your attention to the space you’re in and feel your feet on the ground below. Notice how you feel and with a few gentle breaths, relax any tension present in your body.
- In your journal, list one internalized bias you have about yourself. Reflect on the mental formations (concepts, emotions, habits), feeling tones, and somatic experience that accompany it.
- Take deep breaths and particularly long exhales as you do this exercise, bringing mindfulness to the feeling tone of your somatic experience.
- As you bring awareness to the feelings and sensations, notice if the experience shifts. If completing this exercise feels overwhelming, please return to it later.
Excerpt from Breaking Bias by Anu Gupta, MPhil, JD (Hay House, 2024). Edited and reprinted with permission of the author.
