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“The resistance that you fight physically in the gym and the resistance that you fight in life can only build a strong character.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger
The gym. Just saying the word makes some people break into a sweat—and not the good kind. Bright lights. Mirrors everywhere. What do I wear? That “everyone is staring at me” feeling (spoiler: they’re not; they’re staring at themselves).
For others, it’s their safe place, their happy zone. So how do you go from “I’d rather chew glass” to actually wanting to walk through those doors? I’ll share from personal experience.
I have always been one of those people who worked out. I enjoyed it. Until I didn’t. I used to run—miles and miles—endless pavement pounding that started as a coping mechanism when I lost my grandmother at seventeen. I didn’t know what else to do with the pain.
Back then, there were no phones to scroll through, and counseling wasn’t something people encouraged. The message was to “get over it.” So, running became my escape and my comfort zone. I became so enamored with it that I ran two marathons, about six half marathons, and endless other races. The running went on for decades.
But it also became something else. I noticed that it made me lose weight. Growing up in the nineties and early 2000s, we were taught that the secret to being “fit” was endless cardio and as little food as possible.
The waif look was in—more heroin chic than healthy. As a former chubby teen, I found that losing weight got me attention, and in my adolescent mind, that was a win-win. I didn’t realize I was creating a mindset built on restriction, not resilience.
Fast-forward thirty years. Add multiple pregnancies, jobs, college, and all the beautiful chaos that comes with family life, and the weight doesn’t just slide off anymore. Each pregnancy left behind a few pounds that refused to budge.
Years of undereating and overtraining left my metabolism shot. The stress of work, raising kids, and managing life on our acreage didn’t help either. My body was constantly tired, hungry, and inflamed, yet I blamed myself for not working hard enough.
Then came the curveballs. A nine-month battle with histoplasmosis that made just being exhausting. Later, an ankle fracture—probably not from the horse that bucked me, but from years of undernourishment and stress on my body.
When I say “undereating,” I don’t mean too few calories. I mean poor-quality food choices—lots of carbs, not enough fat or protein. I thought that bread and diet Coke could sustain me as a young woman.
The ankle kept me sidelined for months, and the timing was right over the holidays. Think of Christmas cookies on the couch. And just when I thought I was coming back, I had a thyroidectomy last year after thyroid cancer. No wonder my body was confused and angry.
Through it all, I tried to stay active, but often, it was just going through the motions. I’d see influencers doing light weights and high reps to “tone,” and I fell into the trap. Lies. All lies.
The running that once saved me became something I dreaded. It’s hard to find joy in running when your ankle won’t bend and your body feels like it’s fighting against you. I had always been able to run off the extra pounds. That was no longer the case.
Eventually, I reached a breaking point. I decided to try something new—to actually learn. My husband had been lifting weights and eating high protein for years, and guess what? He wasn’t struggling. (Granted, he didn’t get to experience four pregnancies—lucky him.)
But it got me thinking. Maybe there was something to this whole strength thing. Maybe what I’d been missing wasn’t motivation—it was muscle. And I mean actual muscle, not pink, five-pound dumbbells.
So, I humbled myself, did the research, and realized I had to unlearn everything I thought I knew about fitness. The truth? The gym bros might actually be onto something. Lifting heavy doesn’t make you bulky. The “bulk” most of us fear is fat covering underdeveloped muscle.
Building strength builds shape, confidence, and power—not size. How did I miss this for so long? And why was I lied to for years? Or maybe just misinformed. And I’m a nurse. So, if I can’t figure it out, how do I expect my patients to understand?
Still, walking into the gym again felt awkward. Even when I knew the exercises, that little voice in my head whispered, “Maybe you don’t.” I had to tell her to hush. After a few sessions, my body remembered what it could do. But the hardest part wasn’t the workouts—it was my mindset. For thirty years, I believed I had to be smaller. Now I am learning to be stronger.
That shift was not easy. Eating to build muscle felt wrong at first. After decades of restriction, it’s hard to accept that food—real food, not diet soda and low-fat everything—is your friend. But it’s true. To gain muscle, you must fuel your body. You must trust the process and let go of the fear of the scale.
Some days I nail it, and others I fall short, but the difference now is grace. Growth takes time, and strength—real strength—is built one rep and one meal at a time. This is so frustrating when we are all promised that we can be shredded in twenty-one days.
Now, lifting heavy things makes me feel powerful, not punished. It’s not about chasing a number on the scale or fitting into my twenty-year-old jeans. It’s about showing up for myself, proving that I can do hard things, and learning that resistance—in the gym and in life—is what truly builds strength.
I have realized that the gym is a good place. It can be a place of peace, motivation, and escape. Kind of like the running used to be. However, I am now building my body instead of tearing it down. This means that I feel better. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is all related. I am thankful I tried something different.
So be humble and realize we do not know it all. Because Arnold was right. The same resistance that tests you also transforms you. And sometimes, that transformation begins the moment you decide to pick up the weight—both literally and metaphorically—and refuse to put it down.
About Shannon McDonald
Shannon McDonald is a Nurse Practitioner and holistic nutrition coach who helps midlife women restore energy and build strength through her “Strong + Steady” methodology. With over 20 years of nursing experience, she guides women to work with their bodies through protein optimization and progressive strength training rather than restrictive dieting. Shannon integrates clinical expertise with faith-based wellness principles from her Nebraska homestead, where she trades scrubs for muck boots between working and client sessions. Visit her at navigatingtowellness.com.
