A simple mindful practice that can slow down emotional reaction, invite a breath, and encourage you to pause before you post.
Social media has made it easy to broadcast our thoughts and feelings far and wide in an instant. At the same time, we often don’t even consider the huge numbers of people who will read what we share. How many friends do you have across your socials? 300 to 400? 500 plus? How often do you really pause before you post?
When feelings are at a fever pitch, there’s a lot of rapid-fire, non-face-to-face communicating. For teenagers this can be especially tricky, given their proclivity for impulsivity.
“Adolescents are biologically more prone to making decisions that are not well thought out,” says Tristan Gorrindo, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at The Ross Center in Washington, D.C. “The part of the brain right behind the forehead, which controls judgment, is at that time undergoing a rapid period of development,” says Gorrindo, who is studying the way families use technology.
For teenagers and adults alike, it’s far too easy for a moment of heightened emotion to result in acrimonious conflict, bullying, or just saying something that lives forever and can be deeply regrettable.
Gorrindo has created a practice called W.A.I.T., designed with teenagers in mind (but perfect for anyone living in today’s digital world). Here are 4 questions to ask yourself before you post:
W = Wide Audience
“Would I say this in front of a school assembly?” (If you’re a grown-up, imagine your entire office.)
A = Affect
“Am I in a good emotional place right now?”
I = Intent
“Might my intent be misunderstood?”
T = Today
“Today, tomorrow, or the next day? Can this wait a day?”
Evaluating the urgency of what we’re about to say can provide a helpful injection of perspective. Why is it so urgent? What will happen if you take a breath and pause before you post? And if you wait, might you feel differently about it later?
This article also appeared in a slightly different form in the December 2013 issue of Mindful magazine.
