For Mother’s Day, we asked New York Times readers to share their moms’ go-to sayings. More than 5,000 of you wrote in with adages that were wise, moving and often funny — from the golden rule to the importance of always wearing clean underwear.
Scroll down to read a few dozen of our favorites, which have been edited for length and clarity. Some classic aphorisms came up so many times that we couldn’t choose just one example.
If any of these wise words remind you of your mother, we’ve added a feature so you can easily share them.
‘Always make new mistakes!’
When I was a kid, I thought she was saying it was OK to make mistakes. As I grew older, I came to appreciate the deeper meaning: Learn from the mistakes you make, and don’t keep making old ones!
Rashmi Nanjundaswamy, 49, Fremont, Calif.
‘Don’t waste reality in chase of a dream.’
My mum always encourages me to look at what’s tangible. We are too often focused on the next thing instead of the reality we’re already living, which can be a dream in itself.
Mica Keeney, 34, Brooklyn, N.Y.
‘I never promised you a rose garden.’
She said it whenever I complained that life was not fair, such as after my parents’ divorce.
Trish Brovedani, 58, Oakland, Calif.
‘Why be like everyone else?’
It helped me figure out how to be myself when I was the oddball wanting to be part of the popular girl clique in middle school.
Suzanne Castillo, 56, San Francisco
‘You never regret tipping too much.’
She taught me that being kind was most important.
Jonathan Swiller, 77, Woodbury, N.Y.
‘It’ll quilt out.’
Mom was a quilter, as am I. If there was a small mistake in a quilt project, once the final stitches were in and the project was washed, no one would ever see the problem. Most things just don’t have to be perfect.
Laura Falk, 57, St. Louis
classic momism
‘This too shall pass.’
‘We don’t hate peas. We hate Hitler.’
My parents were Holocaust survivors. We were taught to reserve “hate” for true evil, not the trivial. It was also such a ridiculous statement that it made me laugh about life’s irritations and not take things so seriously.
Marci J. Swede, 58, Middleborough, Mass.
‘The day starts the night before.’
It meant you had to be ready for tomorrow before you went to bed.
Marilyn Escobedo, 81, San Antonio
‘Christmas doesn’t just happen!’
Her point was everybody in the family had jobs to do to get ready for Christmas. We griped, but we worked.
Kevin McNamara, 66, Arvada, Colo.
‘There is no fail. You either win or you learn.’
This phrase was truly a necessity for me when I went away to college. It allowed me to reframe my scary, new experiences as something I could gain knowledge from, regardless of whether I “succeeded” or not.
Eleanor Lavender, 21, Asheville, N.C.
‘You can’t eat prestige.’
Meaning all work is noble, deserving your best efforts.
Joseph Urgo, 70, Canal Fulton, Ohio
‘Always be kinder than you feel.’
It’s been a good reminder to give people grace and remember that we’re all doing our best.
Kate Woodward, 42, Chicago
‘No one is born a mother. It’s on-the-job training.’
I never heard my mother criticize my brothers’ wives in their child-rearing. Her mantra taught us to simply keep our mouths shut and just be supportive.
Mary Alice Schiller, 58, Randolph, N.J.
classic momism
‘If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.’
‘See the light in others. Treat them as if that’s all you see.’
To her, a moment of poor judgment or difficult behavior was not the sum of someone’s character.
Katherine Austin-Evelyn, 40, New York City
‘All people bring joy: some by coming, some by going!’
It’s such a lighthearted way to reframe interactions with difficult people. Always makes me laugh!
Michelle Pauk, 42, Franklin, Tenn.
‘The world is full of lifters and leaners. Make sure you’re a lifter and stay away from the leaners!’
A good reminder to lift people up instead of using them to lean on.
Meghan Cussick, 44, Paradise Valley, Ariz.
‘Take tarts when tarts are passed.’
It taught me to take opportunities when they are available and was often spoken with a little sass, as in “Don’t come crying to me when all the tarts are gone!”
Lisa Pollard, 63, Eden Prairie, Minn.
classic momism
‘Nothing good happens after midnight.’
‘Soap and water is cheap.’
My parents didn’t have money for fancy sneakers, backpacks or winter coats. Mom made sure everything we had was mended, clean and ironed. You might not have much, but it was no excuse to be dirty.
Mary Maresca, 57, Knoxville, Tenn.
‘Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig loves it.’
I still live by this adage she offered when any of us dealt with toxic friendships, martial strife or workplace drama. Works like a charm.
Allison McCarthy, 50, St. Petersburg, Fla.
‘少吃,多滋味’
“Eat less, taste more.” At a time of scarcity of food during the war, mother used to say her motto to us at meal time.
Christa Shih, 92, New York City
‘It’s never too late to start your day over.’
No matter the setback, my mom always ended every difficult conversation with this call to action. It was a reminder to change our mindset and open ourselves up to the joys of what could come next.
Isaac Spanjer, 25, Minneapolis
‘A hard head makes a soft behind.’
Being stubborn, stupid or not heeding wise counsel can have negative consequences.
Michelle Moore, 71, Charlottesville, Va.
‘Lay on in that pee.’
My mom is from a Southern Black family. She would say this when someone created a difficult situation and had to deal with it.
Jana Rickerson, 65, San Francisco
‘‘Twere no sadder words than should have, could have or would have.’
For me, it meant “Go for it!”
Deborah Skelly, 68, Holyoke, Mass.
classic momism
‘Don’t borrow trouble.’
‘The tone makes the music.’
Throughout my life, it taught me that context is just as important as content.
Dawn Norris Doak, 50, New Canaan, Conn.
‘If you can’t hide it, decorate it.’
You’d be surprised how many circumstances you can use it for — work products, food, home decor.
Stephanie Robert, 59, Madison, Wisc.
‘Don’t put your crazy on the front porch.’
Family drama stays indoors. Southerners have plenty of crazy in the family, but ideally we keep it out of view.
Lynn Morton, 68, Pittsboro, N.C.
‘Life’s uncertain. Eat dessert first.’
We don’t always have to be working for some future reward that might never arrive. Sometimes, the right thing to do is to choose joy in the moment.
Kristy Buzard, 47, Syracuse, N.Y.
‘Put on a little lipstick; you’ll feel better.’
As a teenager in the late 1970s, with my teenage problems and my eye on college and career, this seemed so old school. Now, at almost 63, I get it, body and soul.
Margaret Marangione, 62, Shenandoah, Va.
‘We all spend it differently.’
I think of this often as I spend plenty for help with a large garden while driving a 21-year-old car, never going on a cruise, not owning a boat, clipping grocery coupons, eating some at resturants but relatively frugally.
Malcolm Cochran, 77, Columbus, Ohio
‘Knock with your elbows.’
It meant show up at a friend’s place burdened with contributions for the party.
Natalie Serber, 64, Portland, Ore.
classic momism
‘Pretty is as pretty does.’
‘Better to wear out than rust out.’
Having had polio, my mother’s inclination was toward motion, in which she often was a blur. She could best her three daughters in sports and accomplish more in a day than all of us combined.
Catherine R. Seeley, 78, Easton, Md.
‘Life begins outside your comfort zone.’
It’s reminded me to challenge myself and not take the path most traveled.
Harry McBride, 30, Spartanburg, S.C.
‘Double the liquor and dim the lights.’
Convinced me to never worry about how perfect the house was before a party. Our friends would never care!
Kathy Cote, 64, Cape Cod, Mass.
‘Always leave the kitchen cleaner than you found it.’
I take it as a challenge to take responsibility for those who came before us and those coming after us. It is not enough to simply complete a given task; we should all do what we can to help each other.
Rebecca Boucher, 65, Salt Point, N.Y.
‘Rain makes you beautiful.’
It taught me to enjoy rain rather than be annoyed by it and to take little misadventures with equanimity. In my bleak periods, it’s been kind of a mantra, to tell myself that there is something better ahead.
Laura Warfield, 66, Collingswood, N.J.
‘Grab it and growl.’
She was a tough Southern mom who always expected my sisters and me to do our best at everything. She wanted us to attack problems with intensity, bravery and an unwavering desire to succeed.
Roxann Gund, 40, Atlanta
‘Whenever you wake up, that’s your dawn.’
It means the dawning realization can only happen once you’ve awoken to the truth. It helps with feelings of regret. “I should’ve have known better or done better” doesn’t apply, because you just didn’t know.
Shifa Panwala, 38, Toronto
‘Put your brain in gear before engaging the mouth.’
I was a bit of a smart aleck, mouthy kid.
Greg Schulte, 63, Pagosa Springs, Colo.
classic momism
‘There’s a lid for every pot.’
‘Never try out a new recipe on guests.’
I’m an avid dinner host, and this has served me well. In times when I thought I could skip this advice, I regretted it.
Janet Cassidy, 59, Columbus, Ohio
‘Never pay retail.’
My mom was a tough negotiator and realized absolutely everything is negotiable in life.
Suzi Guardia, 58, Washington, D.C.
‘Complaint department in the basement.’
Although we lived in Los Angeles in a house with no basement, my mother adopted this statement from my aunt who lived in New York. It meant that my mother wasn’t having any of our whining about what our perceived problem of the moment was.
Lee Gale Gruen, 84, Walnut Creek, Calif.
‘I’m in your pocket.’
Mom always said this to me, and it made me feel safe. Now that she is gone, I hear her in my mind’s ear and know she is still always with me.
Julie Lewis, 70, Providence, R.I.
‘The grass will soon turn to milk.’
The cows eat the grass, then produce milk. Patience, child. It takes time to get to the end product. This was her mother’s saying (my maternal grandmother) and helped me get through a summer of healing a broken foot, among other speed bumps in life.
Erin Rivero, 40, Oakland, Calif.
‘A man riding by on a fast horse would never notice.’
She used to say this whenever I complained that something wasn’t perfect. It taught me to always remember that “good enough” is good enough.
Susan Moxon, 81, San Diego
classic momism
‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.’
‘If you can’t say anything nice … sit next to me.’
My mother was a total gem but also a bit of a rascal.
Patty Lindley, 56, Seattle
‘Nothing beats a failure but a try.’
It’s helped me take chances in life and ask for things I want because you never know if you’ll get what you desire if you don’t go for it.
Ashley Chandler, 38, Leander, Texas
‘Tout passe et tout s’efface, sauf les souvenirs.’
“Everything passes and everything fades away, except memories.” I find myself using my Haitian mom’s saying whenever someone frets over something of little importance.
Babette Wainwright, 73, Madison, Wisc.
classic momism
‘Many hands make light work.’
‘Some days are diamonds.’
This saying helped me realize that life would always be full of good days and bad days, and behind every bad day there was a good one waiting to shine through.
Paula Gallant, 61, Hamilton, Ontario
‘If you don’t go, you won’t have the story to tell.’
My mom was a courageous woman, and her motto reminds me to take the chance, find value in the experience no matter the result, and have faith I will come out the other side with my story.
Jif Dowd, 69, Willseyville, N.Y.
‘Don’t run after a streetcar that doesn’t want to stop for you.’
It is the most sage advice for dating, friendship and any instance that’s just not meant to be.
Shaari Gross Cohen, 47, Chappaqua, N.Y.
‘Time wounds all heels.’
Her spin on the classic “time heals all wounds,” whether it was due to a breakup or a slight. And one that I use with my own children.
Laura Lilienfield, 68, Irvington, N.Y.
‘If you can’t believe in God, believe in goodness. It’s the same thing.’
Her “Mickey-isms” got me through many tricky moments in my life. So many that I had the phrase “believe in goodness” tattooed on my ankle when I turned 50.
Anita J. Finkelstein Temple, 59, Atlanta
‘Don’t push the river.’
Now I say this to friends — stop striving and forcing outcomes, trust the natural flow of life, let go and stay present.
Julie Merrick, 56, Olympia, Wash.
‘The way to a friend’s house is never far.’
My mom has always valued and invested in friendships. I have learned how to be a good friend from her.
Margie Cader, 54, Toronto
‘Sing out, Louise!’
To my mom, this line from the musical “Gypsy” meant always let your presence be known. Make a choice, be specific and carpe diem. “Curtain up, light the lights!”
Jonathan Cobrda, 35, New York City
‘Never pass up an opportunity to pee.’
It’s very true, especially on road trips, but it also has a deeper meaning in my life: Take care of something when you get the chance.
Cari Stoltz, 42, Richland Center, Wisc.
‘You have to make your free throws.’
Growing up, my mom and I spent hundreds of hours watching basketball together. She was really hammering the point of being prepared and controlling the controllables, no matter how much chaos life throws at you.
Ned Storer, 24, Arlington, Va.
