When we take the time to be truly, compassionately present with our discomfort, we can connect with what we care about most—and we can start to imagine creative ways we might act on that care.
Our guest this week is Dr. Diana Hill. She brings a guided practice to be with, care for, and notice the story that we bring to our emotional and physical pain. In this meditation, you’ll:
- Identify a specific area of discomfort
- Name the story underneath that pain, without judgment or the need to “fix”
- Notice how the story points to what you care about, and what’s most important to you
- Consider how you can act on that care
Diana Hill, PhD is a clinical psychologist, international trainer, and sought-out speaker on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and compassion. She is host of the Wise Effort podcast, author of The Self-Compassion Daily Journal, and co-author of the ACT Daily Journal.
Diana Hill: Finding Meaning In Pain
Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.
One of the paradoxes of being human is that often the things that are most painful to us in life are also the things that are most meaningful to us. When we engage in purposeful activities like parenting or owning a pet or service work or helping others, it often brings a lot of discomfort.
In this practice, we’re going to explore something that is painful to you and look underneath to see what it means about what you care about.
- Go ahead and close your eyes. Let yourself settle into the present moment by first settling into your body wherever you are. Whatever position you’re in, notice where you make contact with the ground or chair or the space that’s around you.
- Also notice the space inside of you. As you breathe in, air fills up your body, expands your heart, lungs, your belly. And as you breathe out, let go and relax a little into this space that’s right here, right now, slowing your breath down so that you can settle into this moment.
- Every moment holds things that are difficult or uncomfortable. I’d like for you to bring to mind something right now that’s uncomfortable for you. It may be an emotion, a relationship, something about work, something about our planet. Choose one thing that’s maybe eating away at you a little, wakes you up at night, pops into your mind during the day, that’s uncomfortable for you.
- Notice that there’s likely a storyline around this discomfort. Without getting caught in the story, drop into your body and where you feel this painful thing. Notice where you feel it and the sensations, but also notice the qualities of this pain. Is it heavy? Is it light? Does it have a texture to it? Is it moving? Is it changing? Often we don’t want to feel, so we push it away or we override it. We distract ourselves. But right now you’re giving permission for this feeling to be here by observing it, allowing it, softening around it. This discomfort, this pain is here because there’s also something that you care about that’s related to this.
- Moving attention to your heart, ask: What is it that you care about? What’s underneath this painful thing? What is it that’s important to you? As you continue to make space for the discomfort, can you also make space for that care in your heart? What is the color of that care? What texture or movement? What is it like in your heart to be with that caring space? Can you allow that caring heart to spread, so that it also cares for this discomfort? Because there’s something important to you.
- Let the edges of your heart dissolve and allow that feeling of care to wash over your whole body and expand outward. So that it holds all of you, including this discomfort. You can allow that care to expand into the space around you in the room. When you breathe in, you breathe it in with your in-breath, and when you breathe it out, you breathe it out with your out breath.
- There is more to you than this pain. This pain is showing you what’s most important to you And it’s showing you that you have a loving, caring heart that’s available to you. So breathe in care, and breathe out care. Breathe in space, and breathe out space. This loving awareness is big enough to hold this discomfort and all the discomforts to come.
- Rest for a few moments in this loving, caring space. Allow your awareness to come back to this slow, soothing breath again into your body, in this moment. Make contact once again with your heart, knowing that what’s most uncomfortable and painful to you tells you what you care about.
- Now you might ask yourself: How do you want to act on that care today? How do you want to be with that care today? Let this intention travel with you throughout the rest of your day. So this practice is not only a benefit to you, but a benefit to all beings. May we all be free from suffering. May we all act from our hearts. May we all find peace in mind, in body, and in each other.
