September 18, 2024
This blog was written by Jillia Wharton, a Search for Common Ground donor. She is a transformational leadership and team development coach. Based in San Francisco, CA, she has been a Search donor since 2007.
In 2008, I traveled to Nepal with Search for Common Ground. I had just recently heard about the organization and was deeply inspired by their work, so when the opportunity for the site visit opened up in Nepal, I went with great excitement. The country was going through its first democratic election in many years after a revolution, and it was an uncertain and scary time. In fact, the day after we left Nepal there were massive riots and the airstrip closed. But more than fear, I felt gratitude and awe while there as I watched the Search team in action. It was amazing to see how they worked to bring people together who had been violent towards and at odds with each other, helping them develop trust with one another.
I wanted to support these kinds of global peacebuilders, but I never saw myself as one.
Since traveling to Nepal to see firsthand the results of Search’s work and feeling profoundly impacted by what I experienced, my interests expanded to generate cultures of deeper collaboration and trust within leadership and organizations. I am a transformational coach who works with organizational leaders and teams, helping them live into more extraordinary and conscious forms of leadership to impact their culture and the quality of their results. I help my clients develop emotional intelligence and self-awareness, identifying their internal ego structures so they can operate in more free and authentic ways while empowering others to do the same. Business leaders often call me saying, “I need you to change my team’s dynamics.” What I help them see is that in order to improve the relationships among the team, leaders must first improve their relationship with themselves. This is good and important work, but I didn’t consider it peacebuilding.
That shifted earlier this year as I joined a call with other donors, listening to updates from Search’s staff on their US-based programs. They encouraged us to see ourselves as peacebuilders in our own right. It was an aha moment, and I started to identify with the role. The very next day, I had an opportunity to embody being a peacebuilder myself!
One of my CEO clients came to our session with inner conflict. A business colleague of his had failed to follow certain procedures—of great cost to my client—and my client was considering a lawsuit. By that point, we’d worked together long enough that he had taken the time to pause and reflect inward, noting that this path didn’t feel like a good one. He had a long-term relationship with this colleague, their families interacted outside of the office—and yet, a lawsuit felt like the only option. With the voices of Search staff ringing in my ear, I began to ask the CEO about the possibility of a win/win scenario. What would it be like to approach this situation in a non-violent way? Was there an option that would address the issue at hand and feel respectful to all? He decided on a peaceful next step: he would call the colleague and discuss the conflict. He would share his perspective and invite the man to share his. His new plan was to enter into a peace accord of sorts and work together to solve the issue, allowing time for them each to consider win/win approaches after the conversation. As the CEO reflected on his revised approach, he said, “I could have gone in there and dropped a bomb.” The weight of that metaphoric and literal phrase impacted me. I asked him how he felt, having chosen a different path. With relief the CEO answered, “My heart feels better.”
Search helped me see a different possibility for myself, and in turn, I helped my client see a different one for himself. So let me pass on the same wisdom I received from being part of this community: you are a peacebuilder. If you are drawn to Search, you are aligning with peace. You don’t need to go take a course or earn a credential to become a peacebuilder. Just notice what you’re paying attention to, and if you’re paying attention to the desire to reduce violence in the world, then your attention is going to peace. Own your role as a peacebuilder, and find ways in your everyday life to be part of changing how the world deals with conflict and differences.
At the end of the day, I’m still a leadership coach. You won’t see the word “peacebuilder” on my business card. But you will see my tagline: “For positive change in life and work.” With you, I’m part of this global community of peacebuilders, and whether we’re focusing on an entire region or a single conversation, together we can continue to find a way of addressing conflict that doesn’t lead to violence.
I am a peacebuilder. So are you.
