Accessing real happiness when we are struggling can feel impossible—but it’s also a key to our recovery, healing, and well-being.
When we are going through a difficult season personally, or we are bearing witness to the pain of others, our relationship to genuine joy or happiness can get complicated and confusing. Happiness can feel out of reach, or it can feel like a betrayal, like it’s something we don’t “deserve” in hard times.
But strengthening our ability to notice and soak in moments of beauty, tenderness, connection, and gratitude can actually have a fortifying effect on us. It can help us build resilience and fill our empty emotional tanks—which can foster our own healing and make it possible for us to show up in healing ways for others.
Teacher Wendy O’Leary shares a guided practice to tune our attention to the reality that shimmers right alongside our genuine seasons of struggle.
A Meditation to Allow Genuine Happiness, Even In Hard Times
Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio practice.
Maybe, like so many, you have wondered, How can I even think about being happy when I’m having such a hard time right now?
Or, How can I be happy when there is so much suffering in the world?
And yet, happiness is not just accessible once basic needs are met, but also essential for our well-being and resilience. We need that resilience both for ourselves when we are struggling and to support others when they are. Both can be true.
Things can be hard and we might also be able to touch some happiness in life. It can’t be forced, so this practice is not an encouragement to push down the hard stuff. Instead, it is a very gentle invitation to also make a little space for the good as you’re able to enhance capacity and wellbeing.
This practice is adapted from Rick Hansen’s practice of taking in the good.
- Let’s begin by settling into a comfortable position. If it works for you, I invite you to close your eyes.
- Gently direct your attention to the felt experience of your body. You might feel your feet on the floor, the backs of your legs on a chair or cushion, or where your hands are touching. Direct your attention to wherever you can most easily connect with the experience of the body sitting.
- Now, gently widen your attention to feel the sensations of the whole body sitting, including the sensations of the body breathing. The invitation here is for a wide, soft and receptive awareness of the body sitting and the body breathing.
- If difficult emotions or thoughts arise, it’s not a problem. There’s no need to push them aside. Gently acknowledge their presence, maybe even saying to yourself, Oh, unpleasant thoughts or emotions. Then let them drift to the background as you focus on the foreground of the experience of the whole body as we settle in here for a minute.
- Now, call to mind a time when you felt really happy. It could be a time you felt peaceful or calm, or maybe you felt a sense of contentment, or it could even be a joyful time. If there are a few experiences that are vying for your attention, just pick one for our practice together. There’s no right or wrong choice here.
- Notice where you are during that experience and who you’re with. Look around and notice what else you see as you remember this experience. You might notice what sounds you hear. Were there any tastes or smells? Just be curious. And what about physical sensations, like the sun on the skin or the feet in sand or even movement, like the body rocking or dancing? Just notice any physical sensations connected to this experience. Take it in with all your senses.
- Now, let go of the specific experience and just check out for yourself. How does my body feel when you’re happy, peaceful, content or joyful? What’s that like in the body? What’s that like in the mind? What’s like in your heart? You could even say to yourself, Oh, happy is like this.
- Imagine letting that feeling expand throughout your body. Basking in the experience of happy, letting that grow and expand. You might even say to yourself, This feeling is worth keeping to help your brain remember and access this feeling more easily. Oh, happy is like this and this is worth keeping. Bask in the experience, growing the experience and reminding yourself that it’s worth keeping. Happy feels like this.
- Remember that happiness isn’t in that specific experience you remembered. It’s in you, and it is accessible. You just have to take a moment to call it up and lean into the felt sense of happiness. Happiness is like this.
- Before we close, let’s offer some well wishes. May we and all beings be safe. May we and all beings be healthy in body, mind, and heart. May we and all beings be happy, truly happy, peaceful, content, and free. May our practice be of benefit to all beings.
- As you go through your day, you could set an intention to notice the little moments of happiness, peace, and connection. Stop for at least three breaths to take them in, noticing them with all your senses. Notice how the body feels when experiencing happiness and invite that felt sense of happiness to stick around and even expand in the body, mind and heart.
Thank you for practicing with me.
