By Jen Schwanke, Ed.D.
Being an educator has been a wild ride these past few years, hasn’t it? I’ve been watching changes in education and been struck — and dismayed — by what feels like a huge decline in the trust in schools — between principals and their staff, between parents and teachers, and, perhaps most importantly, with the trust principals have within themselves about their own work.
Using the word “trust” isn’t new to anyone who works in schools. It’s like the concept of “love”— a specific definition is difficult to capture, but we all know what it feels like when it’s there.
I wanted to write a book for educators about this, so I spent about a year researching the history of education to try to find where things went so wrong. What I found was a bit of a surprise.
For one thing, this decline in trust is not new. In fact, if we look to history, there is a clear pattern: Whenever there has been unrest in the larger society, people turn their anxiety, fear, and anger toward schools. These past few years have proven this to be true.
These days, we are in a time of uncertainty politically, societally, and economically, so if our teachers and principals feel they’re being held to the fire in unexpected and unfair ways, they’re not wrong. Many times we know how to work through this pressure. Sometimes we need extra support.
In my new book, Trusted, I write about how leaders can ensure they are both trustworthy and trust willing. But the final chapter in the book deals with one relationship many leaders often neglect: the trust we have with ourselves. In a profession where mistakes can feel amplified and responsibilities continue to grow, cultivating self-trust isn’t just a nice idea — it’s essential for our well-being.
Why so much self-doubt?
There is an assumption that once we become leaders, we have all the answers. That’s crazy. We never have all the answers, especially when every day presents complex, unpredictable, and unique challenges. When we see flaws in our decision making or encounter problems we can’t solve, it’s easy to internalize them as personal failures. This is a common experience — of being inadequate, or working under a microscope, of messing up and getting revealed as an imposter.
When I was a principal, I always worried about “getting in trouble” with my bosses, and I lived with the stress of that anxiety all the time. In spite of my intense work ethic and my dedication to my school, there was a constant undertone of worry.
Why didn’t I — why don’t we — have more faith in ourselves? Why do we doubt that we can lead with skill and excellence, no matter how tricky things get in our leadership journey?
In two 2022 RAND Corporation studies, more than 80% of school principals reported feeling a high level of job-related stress, and a significant factor was the feeling of being overwhelmed and solely responsible for all outcomes. It’s a lonely job, and the pressure can make us forget the skills and qualities that got us here.
But here’s the thing. No leader should feel they are the sole bearer of trust. It’s a collective effort. While we certainly have influence, we cannot be held accountable for every relationship in our school communities. It’s a mistake to think all problems are ours to fix, and it’s worsened if we don’t have faith in ourselves that we can do it well. That sentiment that can lead to frustration, stress, and, ultimately, burnout.
Building Our Own Self-Trust
Self-trust isn’t something we can just turn on or off. It’s a skill we build through conscious action. Here are a few ideas I explore in the book that might be of help today:
1. Lead with a mix of confidence and humility. Confidence lets us take risks. It comes from recognizing our strengths and knowing others have faith in us. Humility keeps us grounded. It comes from knowing we will make mistakes and are capable of learning from them. I like to remind myself that I was chosen to be a leader because I have the skill and expertise to do it well.
We all have unique skills, wisdom, and work ethic. These aren’t small things. They are gifts. We need to make sure we reflect on these gifts — and the successes they provide — as much as we analyze our missteps.
2. Manage our emotions and don’t rush to react. Rushing to solve problems often leads to poor outcomes. Very few things in education are true emergencies. I’ve learned to discipline myself when things feel too intense or when I am not feeling clear-eyed. I take a moment, pause, breathe, wait, and circle back later. I have never, ever regretted pausing and taking time to think.
I’ve never heard another educator say, “I wish I’d have rushed things a little bit.” By choosing a calm, reasonable response over a reckless one, by pausing to think and gather information, we will lead toward a better resolution. Most importantly, each time we do this, we build a powerful sense of self-trust. We can tell ourselves, “Wow. I handled that one pretty well.” And that is an amazing feeling.
3. Consider all perspectives when making decisions. Speaking of self-discipline, we can teach ourselves to approach every situation with the assumption that we don’t know the full story. This mindset prevents impulsive judgment and allows us to gather more information. It builds trust with others because it sends the message that we won’t be impulsive, that we won’t always take one particular side, and that we care about all perspectives.
Best of all? Every time we discover a new piece of the puzzle, we reinforce our self-trust because we will know those things about ourselves, too — that we are calm, fair, and open to other points of view.
4. Give credit away. Paradoxically, giving credit to our team members builds our own confidence. By highlighting the successes of the people around us, we remove the pressure to be the one in the spotlight. This team-based mindset is a powerful reinforcement of our role as leaders — to facilitate success for others.
Again, there are two benefits — we get the gratitude and respect and trust from other people, but we also build our own confidence in leading a team rather than trying to steer the ship alone.
The “Skill and Will” Model of Self-Trust
Let’s end with a framework of self-trust that might help: Skill and will. Skill is our competence, reliability, and honesty. It’s what we know and how we do it. Will is our self-discipline to lead in a way that is trustworthy and trust willing. It also feeds the perception others have of us — of benevolence, of empathy and openness, and of an awareness of others’ needs.
Here’s what’s fantastic about using skill and will together: We can strengthen the two at the same time. I like to specifically remind myself of this. For example, I might say of skill, “I effectively mediated that conflict between two teachers,” and, of will, I might say, “I took the time to hear from both of them and offer a necessary understanding and compassion.”
As leaders, we are taught, both explicitly and implicitly, to deflect all our celebrations and successes. As mentioned above, we certainly need to credit others for their work. That doesn’t mean we can’t take a few kudos ourselves. On the contrary, we should use positive self-talk to acknowledge and admire a job well done.
In the end, the work of being an educator means we can work tirelessly and still face an endless stream of problems. The peace comes from knowing we’ve done all we could, with the skills and wisdom we have today. Leading well is a long game. Every win and every loss will teach us something new, and with each experience, we build the self-trust we need to lead.
References
Steiner, Doan, Woo, et. al. (2022) Restoring Teacher and Principal Well-Being Is an Essential Step for Rebuilding Schools: Findings from the State of the American Teacher and State of the American Principal Surveys. RAND Corporation. https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_reports/RRA1108-4.html
Schwanke, J. (2025). Trusted: Trust pillers, trust killers, and the secret to successful schools. ASCD.
Jen Schwanke, Ed.D. brings nearly three decades of experience to the field of education, having served as both a teacher and leader across all levels. She has published five books with ASCD, including the most recent, Trusted: Trust Pillars, Trust Killers, and the Secret to Successful Schools.
Jen is a frequent presenter at major educational conferences, including those hosted by ASCD, NAESP, NASSP, AASA, and various state and national organizations. She is the author of the popular newsletter, Principal Problems with Dr. Jen, and shares her insights as co-host of the Principal Matters podcast. She is currently an instructor in educational administration at The Ohio State University and a Deputy Superintendent in Dublin, Ohio.
