Dear We Are Teachers,
I finished my 12th year of teaching in June and don’t think I can do another school year. Even at the beginning of the summer I felt dread about going back, but now that has turned into full-on terror. However, I’ve already signed my contract and I know this decision would mean my principal would have to scramble to fill my highly specialized position (I teach AP French 3 and 4 and all levels of Dance). I’m worried quitting would jeopardize the reference I would get from her AND would ruin the plans of students who expected to take these classes in the fall if my school can’t find a replacement in time. What would you recommend?
—Just (Can’t) Do It
Dear J.C.D.I.,
I totally understand your hesitation, and it’s very “teacher energy” to be thinking of your students and principal first. But the words “full-on terror” and “dread” sound to me like you’re not just bummed out that summer is ending, but may not be in a healthy place mentally.
I think it’s good that you’re prepared for some of the logistical risks involved. Make sure you know what happens in your state if you quit after you’ve signed a contract.
But at the end of the day, you have to put yourself first. Your principal, school, and students will definitely adapt and find solutions. You, on the other hand, might not adapt if you ignore your health and safety. Remember, too, you’re nowhere near the first teacher to leave a principal hanging at the last minute. Spouses’ job changes, medical emergencies, and changes of heart happen all the time.
If you’re still stuck after weighing your options, a mental health professional can help you navigate this process and make the decision that’s right for you.
Dear We Are Teachers,
OK, long story short: A member of my team is a bully. Let’s call her Angela. I called our department chair in to watch one of our team meetings, where, sure enough, Angela was rude and demeaning toward me. Later that day, I was called to the principal’s office along with Angela. There, my principal—in front of both of us—listed out all the ways I’ve been reported as being “hard to work with” and asked me to apologize to Angela. Angela wasn’t reprimanded at all. I was floored and couldn’t speak or process anything, so I requested a follow-up meeting for next week with just my principal. What do I even say?
—WTH, Angela?
Dear W.T.H.A.,
Yikes! Sounds like there’s quite a few unhealthy workplace dynamics at play here.
First, talk to your department chair. How did she interpret your team meeting where Angela was behaving badly? And what did she tell your principal? That will help you lay the groundwork to figure out whether your department chair miscommunicated or your principal misinterpreted. Or if, to your department chair, you were just as (if not more) in the wrong. Be ready to accept any of those possibilities with humility and curiosity.
Here’s what I would want to know about: your principal listing out other, separate incidents where coworkers have said you’re difficult to work with. Again, approach them with a sense of curiosity rather than defensiveness. “I wanted to ask if you could tell me a bit more about these other complaints you mentioned. It’s important to me to be a team player who is easy to work with. Were these complaints from one person or multiple? Can you tell me what I could work on?”
Finally, I do think it’s unprofessional of your principal to reprimand you in front of Angela (or any other teacher). However, I don’t think that’s worth calling out or asking your principal to apologize. Right now, the biggest reparations need to happen between you, your department chair, and Angela.
Dear We Are Teachers,
My partner teacher and I always co-chair the spring musical together. However, this year I’ll be going on maternity leave starting in February—just after casting. Yesterday, my partner teacher ran in and told me she accidentally told my class that I would be out next semester because she figured I’d already told them. When they asked her, “Is Mrs. Evans pregnant?” she didn’t know what to say and they all started freaking out. Now the whole school knows. I’m extremely upset. Not only did I want to tell my students in my own way, but now parents will know way sooner than I wanted them to. Help me get over this!
—That Was Mine To Share
Dear T.W.M.T.S.,
I understand your frustration. Maybe you had envisioned a special way you would tell your classes, coworkers, parents, or all three. It should have been your news to share when you were ready.
But it seems like it was an honest mistake by your coworker. And it’s not like she blurted out, “Mrs. Evans is pregnant!”—she brought up a totally relevant logistical point and your students made the connection. In this case, assume best intent. Your coworker is probably horrified that she let the cat out of the bag so soon. I think the kindest thing would be to be honest about your feelings, but acknowledge you know that her intent wasn’t malicious.
It might not seem like it now, but I can almost guarantee you’ll be able to laugh about this later.
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers
I accepted a job at an elementary school known for extremely entitled students (and parents). Some stories I’ve heard: They stopped doing a science fair because parents were hiring judges to “volunteer” and give their child a top score, teachers are regularly pressured by admin to change students’ grades, and the PTA has the power to basically fire any teacher they want. I’m intimidated, but I still want the job. What safeguards would you recommend to protect myself from student entitlement?
—Stepping Into the Fire
