When you’re overwhelmed and feeling the urge to resist or repress painful, confusing, or distressing emotions, use this meditation from recovery coach Emily Jane to practice staying present with courage and compassion.
One of the core principles of mindfulness practice that can be a challenge for people is the notion that it actually makes more sense to accept our emotions rather than resist them. Especially when it comes to painful, confusing, or frightening emotions, this move towards ourselves in compassion can feel incredibly counterintuitive.
This week, author and recovery coach Emily Jane guides us through a practice you can use anytime you need support bringing curiosity, courage, and compassion to difficult experiences.
Embodied Compassion for Difficult Emotions
You can read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing after each paragraph. Or, listen to the audio practice.
When we experience difficult emotions, our natural tendency is to repress or resist them, and yet it is often this very resistance that creates even more stress and suffering. In this meditation, we will begin to gently shift our relationship by creating space for our uncomfortable emotions. We will invite them in and sit with them with compassion, like an old friend.
We will start the meditation with some mindful awareness, then turn towards the emotions, sensations, and parts of ourselves that we might usually avoid or wish we didn’t have to feel.
- Begin by finding a position that feels comfortable, either sitting in a chair, on your bed or the floor, or lying down. When you’re ready, you can close your eyes or lower your gaze. Allow your shoulders to relax down, your jaw to soften, maybe opening and closing the jaw a couple of times, creating a little movement and inviting some release. Let all the little muscles around the eyes, the forehead, the cheeks to soften as best they can.
- Now bring awareness to the surface beneath you. Feel into that support, how it holds you. If your feet are touching the floor, feel into that connection between your feet and the ground, feeling into the support that is already here.
- Notice the temperature of your body and of the temperature of the air around you. Notice the weight of your body and the gentle pull of gravity holding you.
- Now bring your awareness to the natural rhythm of your breath. Follow the pathway of the breath through the body. Noticing how it enters the body, where the breath lands in the body—perhaps the chest, the belly, the ribs. And notice how it leaves the body. Just take a moment to feel one full breath from beginning to end, and then the next.
- Now take a slightly deeper inhale through the nose, allow the breath to flow down into the belly and then exhale with a sigh. And again, breathing in through the nose and exhaling slowly with a sigh.
- Now bring awareness to your body as a whole. Notice what it feels like to be you in this moment, in this body. See if you can approach your experience with curiosity and a sense of compassion.
- Become aware of any sensations, noting any emotions that are present or areas of tension, discomfort, or heaviness. Whatever is here, see if you can just allow it to be here and just gently make space for it.
- Now, become aware of that part of you that is aware. The part of you aware of the breath, the body, the sensations and emotions. See if you can lean into the awareness itself, this observing presence, and notice its qualities. Perhaps there is calm here, a stillness, or a sense of peace and compassion.
- Rest for a moment in this compassionate awareness. If it feels supportive, place one hand on your heart. Feel the warmth of your hands, the gentle pressure, just offering the body care and support.
- Now bring to mind a difficult emotion, memory, or situation. Nothing too intense, just something you’ve been finding a bit challenging. Perhaps something that’s been worrying you lately, an interaction that’s upset or annoyed you, or just a feeling that you’ve been carrying.
- As you bring this to mind, notice what happens in your body. Maybe sensations begin to emerge, restlessness, tightness, heaviness, or a sinking feeling. Maybe you notice an emotion. Just feel into whatever arises and name the emotion. Describe any sensations.
- See if you can simply observe the sensation, just being a compassionate witness to the discomfort or pain and allowing the experience to be here without immediately pushing it away. Remember: you don’t have to pretend it’s all okay, and you don’t have to like it. But see if you can welcome it, making space for it, letting it be exactly as it is. And if this feels challenging, that’s okay. It’s in our human nature to resist discomfort, so if there’s resistance, just notice that too without judgment.
- As you sit with this emotion or sensation, notice that there is space around it. Space inside the body, space around the body. The support beneath you is still there. The breath is still moving, and this emotion, this sensation, is only one part of your experience. It’s a part of you, but it’s not all of you.
- Now just move a little closer towards the emotion and gently place your hand over the area where you feel the emotion or sensation most strongly. Through your hand offer these words, “I see you. I’m here with you. I offer you space, compassion, and love.” Notice what happens when you say these words. Maybe this part of you responds to the words. Maybe you experience less resistance towards it. Perhaps there’s a softening or you even find peace in the discomfort or pain. Perhaps nothing changes at all. Whatever happens is okay. There’s no right way to experience this.
- Just spend a few more moments being with this emotion, with this sensation. Then return your awareness to the breath, and as you inhale, imagine breathing compassion into the body. Let it flow into the center of the emotion, and as you exhale, allow it to expand into the space around you. Breathing in compassion, breathing out compassion. And as you breathe, allow this emotion to integrate into the fullness of your being.
- Now begin to sense the body as a whole. The support beneath you, the ground holding you, feeling the support of gravity. Remind yourself gently with these words, “I can be with difficult emotions when I create a compassionate space for them.”
- Now gently bring your awareness back to the space around you. Notice any sounds in the room, the temperature of the air. Invite some gentle movement into the body. Maybe a gentle sway or gently just shaking the arms. Take one final deep breath into the belly and exhale fully. When you’re ready, you can open your eyes, returning in your own time.
